The stranger: his hiding place

This is where I first saw him: http://sweet-kandy.blogspot.com/2009/06/stranger-part-1-introductions.html

And he has this habit of disappearing for long stretches of time. Like he did, it has been almost an year now. I am sure the sand and pond were there always, I some times might even have walked over there, though I am no so sure now. Actually not so sure of any thing. But definitely the wet conspicuous green smell of the still waters and the sand squishing and squirming under my feet is some thing I seem to have felt pretty often. But I have not seen him again for a year now. I almost completely forgot that he was there in the shadows near the pond, lurking harmlessly but intently in the darkness. Scavenging on the garbage of emotions I leave behind. Feelings, good and bad, mostly bad. I again saw him yesterday. I was doing my own thing, playing volley ball not specifically well and enjoying it. I had run five miles earlier the day and spend almost the whole day lazing about with piles of work awaiting me. I especially like avoiding work the more important it is and if it is going to have a wider impact, it eggs me on even further.
So it went pretty cloudy and dark and somebody asked to switch on the flood lights. The powerful flow of sliver light shone momentarily blinded me. when I opened my eyes, I found that it was reflecting sharply on the waters of the pond. I felt almost relived to find that this place still exists, though I would definitely like to see it during the day time. Now I am almost a regular visitor here and most probably I am the only visitor, but it is not very fair on the pond's part to seem lazy, moody, dark and unnecessarily mysterious. I think it is unbecoming and slightly vain to be so. And when two entities are so near and integral to each other, won't a little more transparency and openness help? Hell, even the management books say so. I have always found them as silly as books of so many religions though. But they definitely have their own addiction and may be the lotus eater inside me likes both these exactly for the same reason.
So with the lights shining in my eyes and me now wondering on the shores of the farm, it was cue enough for him to appear in some dark corner. And he being so near to me, promptly missed this cue. Damn you, I thought, you miss your cues so regularly and effortlessly that you do not know how much more similar to me you are. Even more than you actually are and definitely even more than you actually try to show.
But his absence there was a kind of strange satisfaction and I felt relieved. This is a similar feeling I have when I run away from people who are analyzing me and approving OR disapproving of my approaches and actions. He has always thus effect on me. Without even saying a word he watches me so intently and quietly that it always looks like he is going to make some severe comment or another. I do not have any hope of him understanding my actions or the reasons for it. I am pretty sure what he is thinking. He is saying, you idiot, you could have actually avoided that. In fact you could have done so many different things and would have done these better. Should have thought different, thought better or should have thought at all. You should have been more caring and loving. Should have understood people more. Should have understood yourself more. Should have been stricter with yourself. Should have been nearer to the people you love.
But now that he is not there, I am strangely relieve. I stroll around that place for sometime, watching our of corner of my eyes of any signs of him. But other wise very tranquil and quiet and content. We should move their sometime when every thing else is done and dusted. But then I smirk at the futility of the thought. Why should I move there when it is always moving with me. It is near me and I go there. I go there despite my choice and some times more abruptly and at uncomfortable times than I like but I own it. It will the last thing I should think about moving to when I am done with every thing what ever I am doing. In fact, it is not a very good idea at all.
This was a very good and quick trip of the pond, strangely for the reason that I expected to find him there and did not. But I was sure that he was watching me from some forsaken corner and I was sure that I will see him in due course of time.