Hoka Hey!!

My incessant listening to the podcasts keep throwing up some gems on and off. I am left with at least something to show for all the time invested.

But these two poems are something completely different, deeper.
Typing them here. Just so that I can enjoy these again.
First, Here is the original source:

The podcast: https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=48&v=okDzJ22CtCY

The wild woman: http://www.rebellesociety.com/2014/12/14/a-wild-woman-is-not-a-girlfriend-she-is-a-relationship-with-nature/

The wild man: https://www.aubreymarcus.com/blogs/aubrey-marcus/a-wild-man-is-not-a-boyfriend-he-is-a-force

And here are the words:


A wild woman
Is not a girlfriend

She is a relationship
with nature

But can you love me
In the deep?
In the dark?
In the thick of it?

Can you love me
when I am bigger than you?
When my presence
blazes like the sun does
When it hurts
to look
directly at me?

can you love me
then too?

Can you love me
Under the starry sky
Shaved and smooth
My skin like liquid moonlight

Can you love me
when I am howling and fury
standing on my haunches
my lower lip
stained with the blood
of my last kill?

when I call down
the lightening
when the sidewalks
are singed
by the soles of my feet

can you still
love me then

What happens
when I freeze the land
and cause the dirt to freeze
over all the pomegranate seeds
we've planted

will you trust
the spring to return?

will you still believe me
when I tell you
I become a raging river
and spill myself
upon your dreams
and call them you the surface
of your life?

Can you trust me
even though
 you can not
tame me

Can you
love me
even though
 I am all
that you fear
and admire

Will you fear
my shifting shape?

Does it frighten you
when my eyes flash
like your camera does

Do you fear
they will capture
Your soul?

Are you afraid
to step in to me?

The meat eating plants
and flowers
armed with
poisonous darts
are not in my jungle
to stop you
from coming
Not you!

So do not worry
they belong to me
and I have
invited you here

Stay to the path
revealed in the moonlight
and arrive safely
To the hut
of Baba Yaga

The wild old wise one
she will not
lead you astray
If you are
pure of the heart

You can not be
with the wild one
if you fear
the rumbling
of the ground
the roar
of the cascading river
the startling clap
of thunder in the sky

If you want
to be safe
go back
to your tiny room
the tiny sky
is not for you

If you want
to be torn apart
come in
Be broken open
and devoured
Be set ablaze
in my fire

I will not
leave you
as you have come
well dressed
in finely threaded sweaters
that keep out the cold

I will leave you
naked and biting
Leave you clawing
 at the sheets
 Leave you surrounded
 by owls and hawks
and flowers
that only bloom
when no one is watching.

So
come to me
and be healed
in the unbearable
lightness and darkness
 of all that you are

There is nothing in you
 that can scare me
 Nothing in you
I will not use
to make you great

A wild woman
is not a girlfriend
She is a relationship
with nature
She is the source
of all your primal desires
and she is the
wild whipping wind
that uproots
 the poisonous corn stalks
on your neatly tilled farm

She will plant pear trees
in the wake of your disaster

She will see to it
that you shall rise again

She is the lover
who restores you
to your own wild nature.




A wild man
is not a boyfriend
he is a force.

Can you love me
in the blinding heat
of a birthing star
when I shower warmth
on distant moons?

Can you love me
in the hole
of the cosmic black
where no one
can reach me?
Not even you?

Can you love me
then too?

Can you love me
when I drag
buffalo skulls
through the dirt for days,
to the rhythm
 of an ancient drum?

Will you love me
if my beard hides
the scars in my heart
from battles I cannot explain?

WIll you love me
when I lack courage
when I am defeated
when I won't let you
 patch my wounds?

WIll you trust me
when I smell of
sweetgrass and sage
and when I stink of
whiskey and sweat?

When I drink
from the cup
and play in astral light
will you anchor me
to home?

What happens when
my words don't work
and I can speak
with only my eyes?

Can you
love me enough
 to let me go,
without asking me
 where I'll be?

I am no poodle
to lay groomed
on a leash
at your feet

I am the wolf
that fetches
the bones of truth.

A wild man
is not a boyfriend
 He's not built
for animal husbandry

He is a force.
He is a cause
for an effect
He is a mission.

Are you afraid
to let me inside you?
Not just my flesh,
but my soul

The wild man
is neither burglar or vandal

I will not take
anything from you

I will not trample on
sprouting seeds
 or pick flowers as a trophy

I am the sun
on flooded fields
 and the fire
for tangled webs

Don't be scared

lover
mother
maiden
crone

 Take me as I am.

Even if I have
the power
to destroy worlds
I will not
destroy you.

A wild man
is a protector
A father
A warrior for all that is good.

When the chaos seek
to obliterate you
sheering your flesh
from bone,

I will hold
all the pieces
together in love

until you are ready
to reassemble.

When your seas boil
and your winds
throw cars at corn fields

I will wait
patiently
for you
to catch my eye
so that both of us
can laugh.

When Hell opens up
the fiery gates
and sends
all the cosmos
against you

I plant
my heels
deep in the ground
I lay
my shield low
My sword
is sharp then
my love

The steel
sings sweetly
With a smile
Hoka Hey!

My last breath
a farewell kiss

Today is a good day
to die.

For ours
is the oldest
love affair

The greatest story
ever told

Cupid and Psyche
Shiva and Shakti
You and I.

Same same
but different
Would we have it
any other way?

Break a leg!

(Advance warning: upper body nudity of a middle aged male variety ;) )

This is a story of how we had best of both the worlds and hit back harder when the universe took its revenge!

This is a story of how we went from this:

to this:

and hit back with this:

Here is the full story.

Last summer my family left me alone for a month and visited India. I being the full blooded Indian male that I am, did the thing every one in the same situation does. I missed them terribly and while doing this, I had a whale of time.

 Rounds of lake Washington on my bike, learning Kayaking and then taking the kayak to places where it has not gone before :), especially almost full day pedaling through Lake Samamish, Samamish river and lake washington, watching Blue Angles from the water.

And the debauchery continued even when the gang came back.


It had to stop some where and it stopped one day when I was trying to do my first hundred mile ride on my bike.
I broke my leg and tibia plateau. We really had a pretty bad time. Adding to this the complications in anesthesia which made me spend a night in ICU. This was easily the worst night of my life with kids + Pallavi balancing on rickety chairs whole night praying for me to recover. We were stranded in a strange country with no family nearby. Our kind friends were the only support structure. But we were definitely staring in an abyss.

At this moment, we started fighting and crawling back one step at a time. Pallavi and kids showed incredibly courage, we recovered together.

But we also had a lot of fun.  We of course maintained regular schedule of outings, enjoyed as and when we could what ever was happening around us

But we needed to hit back with something more.

And here is the coup-de-grace. While recovering we also decided and reduced my weight from here: 

to here:

The exact numbers do not matter. What matters is that we not only fought together but also improved the earlier conditions!

And all this has been possible only because of the tender love and care shown by my better half. Also the steel and resolve I really never knew existed.

And now we hit an arbitary deadline of reaching 70 kg of weight, just a number in general scheme of things, thanks you pillu for every thing. Here is for more and more challenges and goals together!!

Let's make lemonade when life gives us lemons!!!

Solaris - Lem : Dobara

I have felt this feeling may be a couple of times in my life (obviously, life till now :D ).
The feeling goes some thing like this:
As soon as I start reading a book - it kind of looks familiar. I have definitely read the book earlier. Each event feels like you have read it before. Some part of my brain known the story completely: but is teasing with rest of the head and not opening the unread part.

I keep reading on and as soon as the mystery reveals, the knowing part jests with the dumb part. May be they share a chuckle and I then read on.This goes on for pages and pages/chapters and chapters. I enjoy this game as much as I enjoy the original story line. It adds a lot of spice and color to an already engrossing book.

I am currently having the same feeling re-reading Solaris by Stanislav Lem. I had definitely liked the book earlier. With this private game being played in my head now: I like it even better the second time. Especially the way Lem has handled the mystery: it adds even more intrigue.

This whole process gives my real good high, a purer high than the recently-legalized substances :). I really love this private kick that I get (private only till now. Now the inter-tubes know of this!!). Here is to read more about the book: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/95558.Solaris